Having the chance to make my way
to Jerusalem in 2004 was one of the most transforming moments of my life.
To enter the Church of the Holy
Sepulchre;
To kneel and kiss the Anointing Stone
where Christ's body was laid...
It was one of the holiest, most
personally meaningful acts of my life.
Hours later, I was in Bethlehem,
where I was staying, watching the Battle of Fallujah rage on the BBC...
A whole city on fire...
The camera paused on the face of
a young US marine sitting hunched against a wall being asked by the reporter how
it was going.
'It's going great', he
deadpanned, not looking up.
'We've got the enemy right where
we want him.
‘He's coming straight to us. And
we're killing him.'
I was watching war, the real
thing, raging through a city and destroying everything in its path.
I was watching war ripping huge
chucks out of the psyche of that young marine.
Within hours, I experienced the
deeply holy and the totally atrocious.
I experienced the Middle East.
From my earliest childhood, I was
raised in a Christian home, immersed in Christian tradition, teaching, and
liturgy.
But if you ask me when I became a
Christian, I think now I’d say in 2004, aged 37, in Jerusalem, in Bethlehem, in
Hebron, in Nazareth,
I became a Christian not only in the
churches, but at the checkpoints, in the Israeli occupation, at the separation
barriers choking the life out of the West Bank…
I became a Christian in the meetings
with Christian, Muslim, Jewish, and secular peacemakers, who had not one ounce
of enmity for each other… There was no time for it… the struggle for peace in
the face of a well-funded, well-oiled war machine, religious fanaticism, and
political demagoguery, made all other issues and disagreements seem petty and superfluous.
And I became a Christian staring
at that exhausted, dirty young marine.
The message to Christians on Good
Friday is that our lives are always lived in the midst of the holy and the atrocious,
because our social reality is always comprised of both.
We must find holiness in the
midst of atrocity, and we must be
holy in the midst of atrocity.
On Good
Friday, Christians sit in the center of holiness and atrocity.
Jesus didn’t
just die on Good Friday; a lot happened to him before that.
Jesus was betrayed by a former friend for money.
He was arrested on false charges and beaten up
by the cops.
He was given an unfair trial, with false
evidence and a rigged court, simply looking for a reason to convict.
He was tortured while in custody.
He was most likely sexually brutalized, perhaps
even sexually mutilated.
He was given over to mob violence.
He had the last of his possessions stolen.
He was tortured again, this time as a means of
his execution.
Then finally, mercifully, he died…
He knew it would happen. You can’t say what he
said and do what he did in the midst of the forces of imperialism, wealth, and unlimited
power and expect to walk away…
And he didn’t walk away. His enemies had him
right where they wanted him. He came straight to them.
And they killed him.
One small light- one small, holy light- endured,
so small and insignificant that it was absurd even to comprehend it:
Jesus’s
cryptic promises of coming back.
Sitting in that room in Bethlehem, watching the
mightiest military force in human history methodically destroy the city of
Fallujah and every human in it, after only hours before experiencing the
holiest moment of my life, I think I felt a minute taste of what the followers
of Jesus felt watching him die:
That nothing was good, nothing was holy,
everything was pointless, and everything was a lie.
Corruption won. Lying won. Violence won. Corrupt
cops, deceitful politicians, weapons dealers, torturers, executioners… They all
won.
This Good Friday, Christians from all over the
world kneel in the Church of the Holy Sepulchre and kiss the Anointing Stone, a
stone that once had a corpse lying on it.
They look for hope; they long for love, for
justice, for transformation… They call out to God who promises liberation, reconciliation,
transformation…
In the midst of holiness and atrocity, they hope
that there is a God…
To be continued… God willing…